From 2011 until 2019, Valentine's Days were quite a bit of work for me - during those years, I published books of love poems every Valentine's Day. All but two of those were co-authored by my late poet-husband, Norman Morrissey. We used to read antiphonally on each occasion, launching the books by way of a romantic event for poetry-loving fans - as per the images below.
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| Our love poem combo show in 2011 |
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| Our first love poems in dialogue, 2012 |
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| Love poem book no.2, 2013 |
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| 2014 |
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| 2015 |
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| Love poems with a difference, 2016 |
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| The last book of love poems we published during Norman's lifetime. 2017 |
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| A dialogue of love poems published after Norman's death. 2018 |
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| 2019 |
Last year on this day, I collected the print stock of Sweet Nothings (with Notebook) - my tribute of poems to High Riding, the property I had lived on and grown to love during my Hogsback years. My Beloved encouraged me to take this photo to commemorate the moment and how glad I am that he did so -
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| Celebrating the collection of stock. 14th February 2020 |
Now, finally, it is time to reflect on all this Valentinian bustle. (Incidentally, the name 'Valentine' derives from the Roman word valens, meaning strong and healthy.)
The figure of a Beloved has always been a priority in my life. The relationship with a Beloved is the very sun, around which (at least for me) all other relations are constellated. It is the source and centre of warmth and light, without which my heart withers.
By no means do such extreme declarations diminish the love I feel for my son, my parents, sisters, extended family, circle of dear friends and fellows, teachers, pupils, readers, writers, and in general my kindred spirits, who light up the entire globe with their irreplaceable souls.
On the contrary. A Beloved allows for a bubble of peace that is beautifully broken, if not by bliss, then by the most valuable work there is: the work of consciously and fully getting to know an other and, therefore, one's own, expanded self. Speaking for myself, there is no greater possibility of migrating properly beyond the dreadful limits of selfhood than through the consummation of a relationship with a true Beloved.
Why is this? Could it be that here, as in friendships, I find equality, balance of power? As in parent-child relationships, I find nurturing, safekeeping, learning? As in teacher-pupil and work relationships, I find respect, patience, discipline? As in sibling relationships, I find play, laughter, forgiveness?
Yes, the relationship with a Beloved lends all those possibilities. But also - and this is perhaps the ultimate card - I find utter vulnerability, both ways: a vulnerability that is inaccessible, but in the relationship with a Beloved.
The mutual vulnerability of true lovers in respect of one another has held (at least in my case) enormous potential for unlimited expansion into my best self. (Of course, there is constant and real risk of the opposite happening!)
I've built a 'career' of sorts with my poems and writing. But, under that 'career' is a foundation and that foundation is the beauty of the Beloved as it shines for me inside my heart. Maybe you could say my Beloved gets closest to the mercy and grace of Christ in my heart; thus, also, to my creative life force.
Neither my poems nor my love have gained me a sustainable income (at least, not directly so). But they have won me this humble platform, this provisional confidence and this uncompromising desire: to tell you what I've won.
May you, likewise, trust yourself to pursue that, which you love to do, according to the love relationships YOU are best wired to joy in.
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| My old elephant bod with my old peace rose, back in 2011. (They are both still alive and happy. The rose is busy on her 10th bud this season!) |
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