sweet Christ: who would believe
Silke is a poet and prose writer who shares her journey through the power of words
Sunday, 4 April 2021
Towards breakfast, a flower
sweet Christ: who would believe
Monday, 22 February 2021
The value of the beholder
We were getting my disabled mother dressed, or changed and ready for bed - I no longer remember which.
It's an effort, for her, as much as for the carers; and when my dad does it, occasionally with my help (as used to be necessary over weekends and holidays), the effort multiplies all round.
Anyway. Eventually we get there and she's ready - for the day, or for the night.
"You are so beautiful!" my dad cries, having stood back to admire our achievement.
She slumps in the wheelchair, dejected by her helplessness.
"If only it helped," she retorts glumly, "the beauty".
"Oh," he fires back, "It helps me! Me it helps that you are beautiful!"
And so Beauty gets to smile again, and everybody can go on.
Thursday, 23 April 2020
How but in custom and in ceremony?
Where all's accustomed, ceremonious;
[...]
How but in custom and in ceremony
Are innocence and beauty born?"
These lines, from Yeats' A Prayer for my Daughter have been playing on my mind these days.
The lockdown has banished two customs or ceremonies, two major sources of peace, rhythm and reverence in my personal life - wine at sundown, and solitary walks outdoors.
However, in all other respects, my daily life is far less affected than I would have thought it would be, even considering that I am in a new town, in a new house, with a comparatively new beloved and a blank future.
It has taken time to discover that my life path is in no way diverted by circumstances, however unwelcome or painful or just plain irritating these may be. The main reason for this is because I am still the same.
I grew up on home-cooked food. Just like her mother, my mother made everything from scratch. I have largely continued this custom. We never went out (my father considered it "money down the drain") and we never ate 'junk'.
The Second World War's consequences ingrained a 'waste not want not' practice of daily living into my grandparents, who transferred it to my parents, who transferred it to me.
It's nothing special, really. Millions of women, people all over the globe, will turn soft and spotty bananas into banana loaf, if given half a chance. I find that some grated lemon rind and ground cardamom seeds add a lovely fresh mystery to ordinary banana bread. My wrist works to the sound of the wooden pestle grinding and clacking against the mortar.
The original recipe I use comes from a primary school friend, a loyal soul I am still in contact with. I think of her when I use it. I think of the various people in my life who have purred while eating this bread.
One extra thing I learned - was it from my mother again? - is that if you beat the egg whites stiff first, in a separate bowl, and then add them to the dough at the very end, the mixture is given an extra dose of airiness, which persists into the final, baked bread. I thus follow this habit with much of my baking. It means there is an extra bowl to clean, but it's worth it.
Friday, 3 May 2019
Some kind of happiness
So this blog has been a time of quiet, full of the rich unknown. Surprises and beckonings pull me into people I've not been.
This site asks me to re-invent it, or myself, out of the quiet. For my footsteps pad slowly, but surely, guided by the sacred dark, leading into ... not quite your 'aha' ... but still: a sense of some kind of happiness in you that this can be possible: the light.
Soft and gentle yet; not bright.
Last night, walking down the dark, dark driveway with my lantern to meet friends - a milling of fireflies. Traffic of gold and silver flightpaths - bobbing, zooming in and out beside my body. Little creatures looking for each other by life's signature of beauty.
Love seeks us out in the differences.
- Silke Heiss, 3rd May 2019
Wednesday, 13 March 2019
Round world
In the airport departure lounge,
queueing at the boarding gate,
my eyes skim the range of travellers -
two businessmen stand in their own electricity of discussion behind me;
an obese woman, in a sapphire-coloured gown, bats lashes;
a lush-haired man speaks gentle Afrikaans beside her ...
my roving gaze is arrested
by a gesture: a soft-edged,
hairless man's right arm arcs up and
over his stubbly scalp -
his fingertips drop
to stroke it, and then
his hand reaches easily in
to the loose, blonde strands at the neck
of the soft-edged woman on his left.
Several combing caresses rhythm him
- without a word or glance -
into her confidence.
My last look sees her
nestling into his shoulder:
a beautifully unhandsome couple -
toad-mouthed, both; relaxed; happy
in the roundness
of their moment's world.
- Silke Heiss, 13th March 2019




